I knew as the curtains drew across, the forty ninth Parallel……..

Because the diplomatic times that we expel….

All the American dignitaries, an issue one nation wide…

Lillian Garcia: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, from parts unknown, otherwise known as Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at three-hundred-twelve pounds, being accompanied to the ring by Mr. Rogers-- I mean Mr. Richards, Daron… THE AFFLICTION!

JR: This is our second match of the night tonight here at Mosaic, the first event after the absolutely legendary Wrestlemania Five that had just passed.

King: And it was this man who lost to the Xecutioner, JR!

JR: Right you are, but that match last week wasn’t anything near a slobber knocker, and I’m hoping he would make up for it this week.

Hey man look at me Rockin' out on the radio

Hey man look at me rockin' out on the video

Hey man look at me rockin' on the radio

Hey man look at me rockin' out on video with sweet Danny and Lisa

Lillian Garcia: Introducing his opponent, standing at-- erm… weighing in at-- err… he didn’t tell us how tall he is or how much he weighs… no hometown, either… anyway… GianZZZZZ!

King: How do we pronounce that name, JR?

JR: I’m guessing it’s from Dragonball Z, so I guess we can call him Goku…

King: Hahaha, Dragonball’s for losers… but we don’t know if he even likes Dragonball Z, JR!

JR: Gian… Goku… it’s all the same. But what matters is how much does this guy weigh and how tall he is, King.

King: Looks like the match writer’s going to have a field day on this one, JR!

JR: Well, er, the mystery man GianZ-

King: Goku.

JR: Goku is in the ring right now facing the three-hundred pound monster with… I have no clue what as the weight of Goku himself would normally tell us and everyone here how he feels about taking on a six-foot ten-inch three-hundred-plus pounder, King…

Ding, ding, ding.

JR: This joke of a match-- I mean serious match is now officially underway with those rings… and the crowd is going to the bathroom and the concession stands…

King: We haven’t seen this since the triple threat match between Sarge Smash, Faxel, and Jack Ace!

JR: Either way, the two lock up, both vying for a jump-start… Affliction using his possible weight advantage to get in a side-headlock, slowly taking the energy away from Goku… but Goku fires off a few elbows and shoves off DTA to the ropes.

King: DTA on the rebound and Goku tries for a front dropkick, but DTA blocks it and picks up Goku’s legs… AND CATAPULTS HIM OVER THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE! GOKU’S HEAD NEARLY CRACKED OPEN ON THE GUARD RAIL!

JR: The referee for this match, one of the interns for our very own Doctor Doom, starts his ten count, starting to count off as Daron goes to the outside to follow up on that catapult.

King: By the time DTA gets out, Goku gets up, and is immediately met with a lift up onto the canvas, Goku’s ribs landing right on the edge, though once his feet touch the floor, he’s standing perfectly…

One… two…

JR: DTA grabs hold of one of Goku’s arms and tries for an Irish whip over to the steel steps, but Goku reverses, he probably doesn’t have the strength to pull the three-hundred pound monster over to the steel steps, as we still do not know his height or weight...

…three… four…

King: And DTA retracts Goku back AND NEARLY TAKES GOKU’S HEAD OFF WITH A HUGE LARIAT!

JR: There seems to be smoke within the arena coming from the roof, but this match should be able to continue, as DTA tosses Goku into the ring, and climbs in himself, breaking up the count, BUT IS MET WITH A SUPERKICK! THE SIX-FOOT-TEN MONSTER, AFFLICTION, IS DOWN!

King: Goku Z, going for the cover here! He may have his first win in his career!

One…

Two…

Thr--two!

JR: AFFLICTION KICKED OUT!

King: Stupid rookies! He had to keep all of his weight on him! Then he probably would’ve won!

JR: Aside from Goku nearly getting an impressive first win, the smoke is really gathering up… and the crowd’s slowly coming back…

Crowd: Tha roof is on fire!

JR: And… they’re right, King! There are a few tongues of flames on the roof, and the smoke is all over the ringside area…

King: Here comes the fire department, JR… the match has to stop for I don’t know how long as the firefighters get to the arena to stop this fire…

---Outside the arena---

JR: We thank you for joining us out here, especially with the firefighters out here trying to put out the fire that broke out inside the arena, and we have word that the case of the small fire is most likely from the pyrotechnics that went off at the beginning of the show.

King: I dunno what to say, JR, this is kind of embarrassing…

JR: Well, uh, the entire arena’s been evacuated and now we’re waiting for the word to go back into the arena to re-continue the match.

King: I hope the time keeper didn’t forget to leave the clock running again… that drunk.

Time keeper: I’m ain’t drunk, I God to swear!

JR: Oo… anyway, we promise you a good event here tonight, where we have three titles on the line, the Tag Titles are on the line in a ladder match between what’s left of Symbiosis and the team of the GTU and IC-NeoX Champions, Dan McMahon and Muse…

King: Three?

JR: Yeah, three. Technically three… there’s two Tag Titles…

King: Oo… the Vanguard Title’s on the line between the man who won it a week ago at Wrestlemania and the man who won it at the Royal Rumble, Slain and Redmann fight it out later tonight.

JR: We also find out who will be the Number one contender for the Vanguard as it’s Jonny Nailz going against Melt Down… and as for the rest of the serious matches tonight, we have Hybrid, or Soul Breaker, or… Hybrid? Yeah that’s it, we have Hybrid going up against the returning Solitus, and he says that he’s been training hard all week. What will we see here tonight, King?

King: I’m seeing puppies.

JR: Oo! Where?

---About 30 minutes later---

JR: Goku and DTA are in the ring once more, and the match has re-started, the arena has been re-filled, and the fires have been extinguished… though the time keeper kept the clock running.

King: Goku runs towards Affliction, BUT DTA DRILLS GOKU IN THE FACE WITH A HUGE BIG BOOT!

JR: But the rookie, Goku, is making his way up, and is met with a hip toss by DTA… Affliction tries for a dragon sleeper, but Goku gets up and out of the way, and scores a drop-toe hold, sending DTA to the ropes.

King: Goku runs off the opposite ropes, and guillotines DTA’s neck on the middle rope, the force sending Affliction stumbling outward, and Goku hits DTA with a dropkick, sending the big man down.

JR: Goku springboards off the ropes, looking for that Lionsault, BUT DTA CATCHES HIM BY THE THROAT!

King: Good catch!

JR: AND AFFLICTION RISES UP WITH HIS HAND STILL LATCHED AROUND GOKU’S THROAT… CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM!

King: THANK’S FOR COMING, GOKU! DTA WITH THE COVER!

One…

Two…

Three!

Lillian Garcia: Here is your winner, Daron the Affliction!

JR: WAITAMINUTE! THAT’S THE XECUTIONER COMING FROM BEHIND AFFLICTION! THE TWO ARE TRADING LEFTS AND RIGHTS! THE CLASH OF THE TITANS HAS COMMENCED! XECUTIONER GETS THE UPPER HAND KNOCKING DTA OVER TO THE ROPES, AND FOLLOWS UP WITH A BIG BOOT THAT NEARLY TOOK AFFLICTION’S HEAD OFF!

King: Mr. Richards is trying to stop Xe here, BUT HE GETS A CHOKESLAM! HAHA! MR. RICHARDS GOT THE SHOES LITERALLY CHOKESLAMMED OFF OF HIM!

JR: DTA trying to escape the beating from the former two-time GTU Champion, Affliction trying to get away through the stands, BUT HERE’S THE XECUTIONER AGAIN WITH A BACKDROP!

King: He drags Affliction over to the announcer tables, and cups DTA’s head up, into a standing head scissors… we all know what’s coming next, JR!

JR: I do indeed, but this attack is uncalled for-- POWERBOMB THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! MY GOD WHAT AN IMPACT THAT MADE!

King: And Xe’s doing that thing with the eyes again. I feel bad for DTA, yet then again, I feel bad for anyone who cross Xecutioner!

Winner at 41:22, Daron the Affliction